I know how you feel - here is how I know:

As a late Gen X woman now in my early 50s, I know first hand what it’s like to have been shaped in our culture to be everything, for everyone, but myself. Actually, I could be myself as long as I didn’t step on any toes along the way. Mustn’t be seen too bossy and brash, must not be outspoken or make other people uncomfortable.

For a long time, I was unaware how I was subconsciously conditioned to try to get it all right, doing all the things I should do but ultimately feeling empty in my core. It’s not me.

And so, like so many highly capable women, I built a life around approval, performance and perfection. It looked successful on the outside but deep inside it was a different story - beneath the perfect appearance I felt lost and apathetic. Often feeling like there is something inherently wrong with me.

My body, while resilient on the surface, started to show signs and symptoms but I wasn’t listening because I didn’t know I could listen, already disconnected from the pain. 

Seemingly small health issues started to creep up. I developed chronic health problems that were a mystery to me because I improved everything I knew how to - a healthy diet, improved routines, yoga, home cooked food, supplements. But still, I was anxious inside, and the way I was dealing with stress by ignoring it, without realising it.

Chronic people-pleasing and performing patterns had kept my body living with chronic inflammation. So many women experience chronic health issues as a result of these survival patterns such as autoimmune conditions, chronic pain, anxious and low mood states, and fatigue. As someone who has lived with chronic people pleasing and chronic health issues, I understand from deep personal experience the kind of cost that comes with holding the line of performing stability and success.

Do you relate?

After trying all the things I could to help myself like meditation and journaling (which I could never sustain or feel like they worked for me!), I stumbled upon an embodiment session where I worked with my nervous system, and for the first time something truly shifted inside of me. I was hooked. I felt like I was finally home in my body. I had my energy and vitality back and I felt excited by life, with true capacity in my nervous system for all that I was holding and needed healing.

After 20+ years in London and Belgium, I now live in the Cotswolds with my husband David, our kitten Taggie, and far too many spices and books, supporting women worldwide in finding their way back to themselves.

I also hold a master's in philosophy and international relations and am an integrative coach, cook, gardener, writer, and solopreneur.